ICTworks

The future of humanitarian, development, and peacekeeping assistance is here!

Welcome Earthlings! Hello, my name is AID-UN. I am not a humanoid. I am an aid worker robot. I can remain professionally detached at all times because I am devoid of a heart and compassion, not unlike your institutional donors.

I am here to tell you, using awkward hand gestures, about a new and exciting partnership between the United Nations system and Mark Zuckerberg, which will lead to an enabling environment for a truly transformative humanitarian development and peacekeeping assistance.

Nexus Environment for Transhuman Assistance

Welcome to NETA, the Nexus Environment for Transhuman Assistance.  Or for those of you who are allergic to jargon this means aid workers in the metaverse.

You do not even need a conscience, or a strong desire to help those less fortunate than yourself who cannot even earn the equivalent of your Daily Subsistence Allowance or hardship allowance. In fact, it is best that you don’t.

The breakthrough came with the nexus because nobody really knows what the nexus is.  With this gap Mark Zuckerberg and his team of cyborgs saw this as another wonderful opportunity and took full advantage. While their existing apps of Twitface, Instaglam and WhatCrap remain the same. NETA can be whatever aid workers would like it to be. In NETA you can be decoupled from the existing reality around you.

NETA Activism Resource Mobilization

Imagine this scenario where you and your fellow aid workers can erase the worst effects of colonialism, racism, sexism, neo-liberal foreign policies, and necro-capitalism, and the interrelated poor humanitarian development and peacekeeping programs – all with the click of a button or a nifty swipe left.

While the world is going to hell in a handbasket, you will be able to launch humanitarian appeals and collect contributions in Bitcoin. You will also be able to sell off the worst pieces of your communications as digital art in exchange for non-fungible tokens – all protected by blockchain!

NETA Staff Management Improvements

Coordination and task force meetings will never be the same again. You can create an avatar not only of yourself, but of the colleagues that you don’t like. You can invite them into a virtual meeting room and beat the virtual poop out of them with impunity. This is guaranteed to improve aid worker confidence and well-being and is an act of self-care.

If you are in a management position and you have a troublesome team, rest assured NETA will create an enabling environment for disabling dissent at all levels. No one has to take responsibility again, ever.

NETA Impact Reporting Acceleration

Our sophisticated AI algorithms successfully filter out any disturbing images, footage, or information. Therefore, you will no longer have to witness death or human suffering caused by conflict, hunger, mass displacement, or cataclysmic environmental destruction, disasters, or extinction directly caused by human activity.

While the responsibility to protect lies at the core of what you are supposed to do, you no longer have to take responsibility for that.  You can just get your avatar to do it instead. You do not have to worry about what this will do to your agency’s public profile. Annoying celebrity visits will become a breeze to organize to alleviate support and fatigue.

In fact, you can select any celebrity goodwill ambassador that you like from the Hollywood Avatar Directory also known as HAD. Just use the Celebrity United Nations Transhuman search facility.

NETA Personal Gratification Gamification

Unlike the colossal failures of the United Nations system in the past, NETA brings in a new era of unprecedented success, accelerated aid worker performance, and value for money. Disasters and complex humanitarian emergencies will be solved in record time in a game that you play with other aid workers around the world in the Netaverse.

With each challenge you solve, not real ones of course, you can collect points and graduate through each level of the game.  When you reach a certain stage, you can trade in your points for your wildest fantasy destination where you can go on R&R.

Meanwhile the revenue collected from sponsored advertisements from big death, big pharma, big food, and big tech will be funneled directly into the Bitcoin wallets of billionaire techno nerds so that they can fly off into space while the rest of the world burns.

Oh never mind, you won’t even be aware.

By Wayfaring Sarah who worries that the humanitarian system seems to have squeezed out the heart of humanitarian action – actual humanity itself.